Useless but Funny

My friend Marcy sent me the most hilarious definitions from the Washington Post's Mensa invitational. My favorites are as follows:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

4. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

14. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

And in regards to The Washington Post’s 2007 contest to supply alternate definitions for common words – I only have one thing to say. I am flabbergasted and must abdicate. But truly my favorite was #7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.