I deserve a Greek Chorus

My life, or at least my ego, cries out for a Greek chorus. Events would finally get the emphasis that they deserve. When Jake comes into my room in the early hours of the morning to inform me that William has wreaked havoc or created a mess that will take me hours to clean up. My response of shaking my fists in the air and crying out “Why?” would become even more dramatic! And even the simple things – things like running out of milk or William eating gluten would appropriately be responded too.

However, I’m concerned about logistics. Would I have to drive my Greek chorus around with me or would they come with their own cars? Would I be responsible for room and board? Frankly, trying to clean up after my own kids is exhausting (I don’t have a cleaner). I really don’t have the room for extra people to live here and if I had to pay for extra plane tickets on vacations I think we’d all be forced to hitchhike across the country. Would the chorus baby-sit? And how much would it cost? I don't think my husband would feel that it was the best use of our money as opposed to, well, spending it on anything else.

So, I figure that unless the chorus is free, and appears and disappears on demand; I’m pretty much out of luck. Dang it!