I think that thtudnwytb has missed me

The reason I think thtudnwytb has missed me is that the renters called on Sunday night and said "We’re moving out."  Sadly the lady lost her job and was moving in with her mother in Brooklyn. So, as the best part of our President’s Day holiday we visited thtudnwytb.

It was just like coming home.  Coming home to a pool table, several TVs, a computer, tools, a washer and dryer and about five sewing machines (she worked as an upholster).  We are going to give them a couple more days to pick up their stuff before we decide to leave it in the house as a housewarming gift for the new tenants.

Things I will miss about the old tenants:

1.  Never needing to go over to the house. 

2.  Depositing the rent in cash every month and feeling like a drug dealer.

3.  Sleeping (now I will spend my nights hyperventilating until we find new tenants)

So, as a special treat for the children we went over to the house to clean!  I was concerned that Will would see the house and refuse to get out of the car but it has been so long that he entered the house without protest.  And better yet … he stayed inside!  There was no running down the street to get away from thtudnwmtb.  I was happy about that.

The children were so delighted to help clean and did such a great job that I threatened to leave Jacob and Lizzy at the house until they actually did something.  It was so fun that we went back today and spent another couple of hours.  But I am mostly done -- except for removal of the stuff they left and I’m going to repaint the basement floor.

Admit it … you missed thtudnwytb too!

Thtudnwmtb

I’ve been sick for three weeks and I blame thtudnwmtb.

It was my husband’s idea to buy her and I reluctantly agreed.  However, clearly my brain was vacationing in Mexico that week because I forgot … 1. That he travels all the time.   2. That thtudnwmtb does not go with him.  3. If he’s gone and the house is here defacto thtudnwmtb become completely my problem.

My way to deal with problems is to ignore them.  Thus we’ve been paying two mortgages for several months because why pay just one when you can have a vacation house fifteen minutes away?  Yes, fifteen minutes away is my kids’ dream home that William will run uphill in the middle of the street to get away from and the rest of kids ask weekly when we will sell it so they can stop going over there to work on it.

Today da, da, da, da we rented it.

They gave me the first and last month’s rent and the security deposit in cash!

 …

I’ve decided to officially rename thtudnwmtb It Who Must Not Be Named!

What smells like mildew?

Oh, it’s you.  That’s the bad part.  The good part is that when I was at the house with the plasterer getting a bid on redoing the plaster and taking down the walls the police showed up.  The neighbors called them.  “You know, someone stole the copper pipes in this house,” they told me.

“Yes, I’m aware of that.”  I responded.  Then they ignored me and talked to the plasterer.  Who is, by the way, going to gut my basement up to the ceiling.  Bad part-- not until Monday.  (I’m going to try to sweet talk him into starting earlier.)  Good part – he gave me advice about renting and suggested we not refinish the basement so as to discourage additional illegal renters in the basement.  Good part – he’s going to hook us up with a dumpster.  Bad part – my basement is still damp.

I tried to cut a little bit of the plaster (it’s not drywall – I didn’t know) off the wall but got bored within 5 minutes.  (And my husband’s little saw thing freaked me out a little.)  I have some skills but I think it more along the lines of handing my husband tools and being verbally supporting.

Figuring out Lizzy

It’s no secret that Lizzy kicks my butt.  She can out subborn, out wait, out … me.  Well, I came up with a little bit-o-magic on Tuesday.  I got her to practice her flute, and do her homework without complaint.  (Ok, let’s be honest, she actually did both rather than just complain about me wanting her to do both before not doing either.  Yes, I realize that wouldn’t fly at your house.  I agree you are the better mother.  Move on.)

I started by announcing she could go with me to thtudnwytb.  Then I casually mentioned I would be using tools and cutting walls.  She could not do her jobs fast enough.  Jacob on the other hand asked “do I have to go?”

Now that I have it, I don’t know what to do with it

I visit the house … a lot.  I’ve gone shopping for it but don’t exactly know what to buy.  The plumber can’t start on it until Thursday.  I rented a floor fan and dehumidifier (for the week) and I’m trying to dry the basement out and I need to find someone to cut off the bottom couple of feet of drywall.  If I don’t get a call back today I’m going to start cutting it off myself.

I’m not kidding.  I will.  I went to Home Depot yesterday and bought blades for something my husband owns (I don’t remember what it’s called).  I think I really, really impressed the clerk when I asked him if he’d use a dremel or jig saw to cut drywall.  He looked at me as if he was thinking “you don’t look like you know which side to use and I’m a little concerned about the ethics of arming you.”  I thought back at him, “I do.  I’ve handed tools to my husband before.  And anyway it doesn’t matter because I want that drywall cut off!  And I can hire someone to fix what I’ve done later.”

Have I mentioned that my husband travels … a lot?  No?  Well, he does and of course he won’t be back until Thursday.  But I’m sure I’ll have everything taken care of by then.

Maybe it took (the house, silly!)

Is that like saying maybe I’m pregnant?  I can hear Marcy in my head saying there’s no maybe about it, you either are or you aren’t.  So technically we didn’t buy the house.  But baring it burning down, a homeless person blowing it up, and a tornado scooping it out of the ground we will buy it on Monday. The bank, naturally, didn’t get a paper to our lawyer in time to register the deed on Friday; but was on top of things enough to cancel the electricity in the house on Friday.  But since the sump pump curiously enough needs actual electricity to work (no, really!) we are paying for utilities in a house we do not own.  (Regretfully we decided not to go with the indoor basement wading pool option.)  

 I have declared March 25^th my official “Pay for Someone Else’s Utilities Day” and have decided to have everyone submit their proposals through the bank we have been dealing with (thus insuring I will never need to actually pay for anyone’s else utilities but will be able to claim that I do – I know, I’m brilliant and very, very kind!) providing certain conditions are met*.

Naturally Monday morning I will drive over to the house to make sure it is still standing before we permanently adopt it as our problem.

*Which I will make up and change at will. ;-)

Prepare for more rental house postings

Because I think we may have bought the house that Marcy will forever refer to as “the house the universe does not want you to buy” or thtudnwytb.  The reason I’m not sure if we’ve actually bought it yet is because today was the third time I’ve sign mortgage papers.  The first two didn’t take but we’re hopeful this time.  (Gosh, that kind of sounds like fertility treatment doesn’t it?)

We almost didn’t buy it because my husband started to balk the second time the basement flooded.  We went for a final walkthrough Tuesday night and there was about a foot of water in the basement.  The silly man thought the bank should 1. Remove the indoor wading pool and 2. Fix the sump pump. And when the bank responded – and I quote: 

“the asset manager will do nothing more to the property. It is "as is". The listing agent said you can hire someone to go in if you wish.”

He got a little testy.  I told him we are either buying this house now or never.  So, in spite of everyone’s (really) warnings we decided to buy thtudnwytb.

I think it will all work out.

I asked my real estate agent what hobby she’ll take up now that she (hopefully) no longer will have to check up on this house bi-weekly.  And she said that she worked so hard on this house for Will. 

I really do know the nicest people!

“Have you ever considered that the universe just doesn’t want you to buy this house?”

Marcy asked me.  I’d called her to let her know that the house we’re attempting to buy had experienced a flood.  The sump pump wasn’t turned on and judging from the water line in the basement there was over a foot of water in it.  There is a bright side to the flood.  My dad was concerned about the homeless person possibly living in the basement – well, I can pretty much guarantee no one is living in the basement now!

As we walked through the basement with our realtor, I laughed.  At this point, it’s just getting funny.  The bank agreed to give us a credit but now we have to postpone the closing by two weeks.  My husband joked to me that we haven’t had a fire yet.  When our realtor called this morning … I didn’t want to answer the phone.  I did, and luckily no fire.

… at least not yet.