My Mom is on a Horse!

My mom hasn't ridden a horse since she was 16 years old.  So, I'm pretty proud of her!  Of course, it probably helps that her horse, Pretty Girl, thinks she is a dog and guards her.

All the animals my parents own are a little confused.  Their dog Buddy has a pet of his own -- a bunny.

Team Jeward

Lizzy and I went to a book club on Friday.  One of my friends decided to start a mother daughter book club and I want Lizzy to improve her reading so it seemed like a perfect fit.  Lizzy hasn't found her genre yet so she doesn't read much and it's like pulling teeth to get her to do it.  We decided to read the first book in the Gregor of Overlander series (my recommendation) and The Little Princess (definitely, not my recommendation as I have always disliked that book -- I don't know why because I really like the Secret Garden).  Anyway, I'm crossing my fingers that this will work and Lizzy's reading will improve.

Everything was fine at the book group until I mentioned that my book boyfriend was Hector from the Iliad. As they were not familiar with that term I had to explain it. I choose to do so in the easiest way possible.  Example sentence:  "Edward Cullen is the book boyfriend for many teenage girls."  Brianne and I are not on team Edward as we find him creepy and obsessively possessive.  And as much as I would like to have a sparkly book boyfriend, he is only 17 and I don't think Robert Patterson is attractive.  Taylor/Jacob on the other hand is very attractive but he is even younger and my internal inappropriate-o-meter goes off.  And really -- I'm not interested in having a monster book boyfriend anyway.  Thus Jacob can't be my book boyfriend.  Brianne is not interested in either of them either, though many of her friends are.  So, we started our own team -- Team Jedward.  We get all the benefits we want, with none of the disadvantages.  

Examples:

Sparkly -- check.  

Washed hair -- check.

You get the idea.  But I would never leave Hector for Jedward.  We've been in a long-term relationship since 1988.

I’m choosing to interpret this statement as I’m usually pretty awesome (but, of course, I could be wrong)

My husband called me.  He had taken Jake camping with the other scouts.  “Guess what Jake said to me on the way to camp.”  He laughed.

“What.”  I asked.

“Jake said, ‘This week mom was not very patient and evil.’”  Intrigued my husband queried, “Evil?  Why was she evil?”

“She was angry because we didn’t do our jobs,” Jacob replied.

Naturally, my husband called me to laugh at me for being evil.

Lizzy’s Homework the Last Two Weeks of School is Kicking My Butt

My friend called me, “Did you see the homework for the last two weeks of school?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you think of it?”

“I think it’s two weeks without homework.”  I responded foolishly.

“Ok, you’re probably right.”  Linda said.

I WAS WRONG!  Homework is homework. 

“Mom, I need to dress up as my text-talk word.  I choose hero.  Please drive me to the store to buy a batman costume so you don’t have to sew me one.”  Lizzy said expectantly.

First of all: Like that is going to happen.  I am not the mother that says “Oh you need me to buy you something . . . is this enough money?”

Secondly:  Even if I was so inclined to do so, it’s June.  No one has batman costumes.

Thirdly:  Sew . . . Sew you a costume for text-talk day!  Apparently, you don’t realize that there only a couple of things I like to sew.  One is clothes for baby girls and two is Halloween costumes.  Halloween costumes not text-talk costumes.  At some future point in my life, when I have an extra room and I don’t have to sew on my kitchen table, I might make baby quilts.

Lizzy talked to me about what she needed for her text-talk word for three days . . . a lot.  I considered prank calling her teacher in retaliation for the homework.  Fortunately, we had a black cape from my childhood and Marcy had a black batman mask.  Lizzy turned a black tee-shirt inside out and wore black pants.  She drew a batman logo on a piece of paper and taped it to her shirt.  She wore it to her doctor appointment.  Then I dropped her off at school.  “I don’t know if they’ll let you wear that mask at school.”  I told her.

“What!  Why not?!”

“Uh, never mind.”

 

Miss Charters, I guess it’s your turn to take one for the team.  Have fun!

Today at Church

Will sang a song that was somewhat appropriate.  I got some smiles.  Then he laid his head down on a stranger’s lap.  She patted his head so I figured it was alright.  The kids had a lesson on the Ten Commandments during Sunday School.  They quizzed each other on the way home.  I overheard Jake asking Lizzy if she knew what adultery meant.   

I thought about interjecting.

But she responded.  “Yes . . . no . . . whatever.”

Then Jake explained to Lizzy what it meant.  “It’s when someone kills five people and then commits suicide.”

My work here is clearly done.

The Summer Grind

School is not even out yet but I’m exhausted.  Granted it’s my own fault but I like to blame it on the summer anyway.  Swim team practices started on Tuesday and even though only Lizzy and Bri agreed to participate this summer it still involves three or four drives between our house and the pool.  If I can’t leave Will at home I have to find something for him to do while Lizzy is swimming.  It’s not fair to expect him to wait and watch other kids swimming.  (Besides -- the one time I tried it last year he took off his shirt and tried to jump in the pool.  I stopped him but screaming was involved.)  However, I realized (I know it only took a year –shut up) there is a lovely park with walking paths next to the pool.  I’ll take Will for a walk while we wait for Lizzy.  He’ll love that!  When I take him on walks around our neighborhood he asks for a piggyback and tries to make me carry him.

And Yet Another Reason Why My Sister Jane Is Unbelievable

She writes weekly emails that include things like:  “Adam would have turned 16 on Thursday . . . We bought Superman colored balloons – the only yellow was a smiley face – perfect.  We had a party with pizza and cream soda at the cemetery.  David brought his guitar so we could sing Happy Birthday… and other songs.”   And she included a picture of her family at the cemetery.  I like knowing that if I feel like talking about Adam to her I can without worrying about hurting her.  Because we all miss him!